Relationally: Watch Your Mouth

Relationally: People Are Hard

We’re in week two of a series called Relationally because people are hard. People are hard, and I think it’s important to recognize that, but it’s also important to recognize that you’re people. You’re also people, and so you can’t always be pointing the finger. Sometimes you gotta like recognize that you are also people, and that means that sometimes you’re hard, and that God has something to speak to you.

Last week David opened it up talking about access, the access we give people, and that not everybody gets access, full access to your life, and that that’s godly, that that’s actually what Jesus modeled for us. He loved everyone, but didn’t treat everybody the exact same. He had the crowds, the 12, the three. And so that’s what we talked about last week. If you weren’t here, I encourage you to go listen to it. It’s helpful when we hear all the pieces, and if you were here, we should probably listen again because we don’t usually get it the first time. Sometimes we gotta hear it multiple times.

Watch Your Mouth

This morning I have the task of talking about words. The title is Watch Your Mouth. And I’m not gonna lie, when I was studying this out, I realized that this can sound really mean. And I’m gonna try really hard for it not to come across that way, but that’s why sometimes we gotta make our hearts really tender, because a lot of the things that God has put in my heart are his words about words, and so he’s very clear that words are important. He’s very, very clear about that.

Very few of us take the time to really think about the words we say. Have you ever like reflected back on what the first words you say in the morning are? Or do they just like come out? If you’re my daughter, they just come out. And sometimes they’re not so nice because she doesn’t like the morning. What about the words that you say when somebody disappoints you? Or this one gets me in trouble when my plans change. That one’s really hard for me. Or this is a different one. What about that sigh that comes out of your mouth before you respond? That’s actually communicating something to the person that’s listening to you. It really is. It’s saying like you’re already annoyed. And we don’t think of that as a word, but it’s a word. It may not have a spelling, but it’s coming out of your mouth.

Careless Words Cause Damage

I think a lot of times when we think about words, we think about the big words. The big things that we say that that’s what’s gonna cause the damage. But really it’s not, it’s all the words. It’s the unintentional words that come out of our mouth that are really causing the harm, especially in our relationships. I think that we could all agree that careless words are the ones that cause the most damage. It’s the careless things we say that cause damage. And I think it’s so important that we learn to be reflective about that.

And I think it’s important to recognize like you can’t just stop talking. I mean, to be honest with you, if I could stop talking, that’d be awesome. There’s a lot of days I’m like, could I just shh? Which is funny because apparently when I was a kid, I talked nonstop. My mom didn’t have to wonder about my day because she heard about my day when she picked me up from school, and she heard from the time my dad dropped her off until I got picked up. She heard every detail. And apparently payback is real because my daughter talks nonstop. She don’t tell me about her day, but she’s got a lot to say about whatever she’s got to say.

But that’s the reality, right? Words are part of our life, so we better learn to watch those words. Because you can’t just suddenly stop talking. That would be easier if we could do that, but we can’t. And so I did a little bit of research, and it turns out the average person speaks 16,000 words a day. Now, there used to be all those like statistics out there that women speak way more than men, and blah blah blah. Okay, that’s all been debunked. Sorry. You can’t sit here, guys, and say, I don’t say as much. It’s actually not true. You do.

Words Hold Weight

The thing that the variation comes from other things in our life, not our gender. It comes from our jobs. What do our jobs look like? How much do we talk? It comes from a place of are you a parent? Because if you’re a parent, you’re probably talking a lot because you have a lot of correcting and guiding and leading to do. The stress that you’re under can affect how much you speak. So when we’re talking about this, for simplicity’s sake, can everybody just say, I say around 16,000 words a day, okay? Okay.

And so if that’s true, then we say a thousand plus words while we’re awake per hour. So that’s a lot of words, right? That’s a lot of words in an hour. And sometimes it’s more and sometimes it’s less. And if we recognize that we ourselves say that many words a day, then no one in here can say my words don’t matter. You can’t say it. Because those 16,000 words are opportunities. They’re opportunities to speak life or death. There’s 16,000 opportunities to steer your relationships. And it’s 16,000 chances to wound someone or heal someone.

So our words hold weight. And if left unchecked, can cause a lot of harm. But the reality is words are what shaped you. Words that people said from the time you were little, even to words that somebody said over you today, they’re shaping you. And so words are so important. That is such a lie. I feel like I’d rather be punched because you can heal from that, like, you know, you’re gonna get better pretty quick. But those words, they stick. They stick, they play over and over and over in on your mind.

And so we just have to put more value and recognize that encouraging words, truthful words that we speak in love, have real power to heal and change someone’s life. They really do. And so I think the problem that most people deal with is they just lack awareness of the power of their words. There’s a lack of awareness about how powerful your words are. But scripture makes it very clear how powerful your words are. Scripture mentions our speech, the tongue, the words, hundreds of times. Hundreds. It’s not just like, oh, hey, look, there’s like one verse or two. I had to like skim it way down how many scriptures we were gonna use because it’s so valued.

And here’s one thing I’ve learned. If it’s in my Bible and Jesus talked about it, I gotta care about it. I can’t just say I don’t want to deal with that. Nope. If Jesus talked about it, it’s in the scripture. I have to care about it too. And I have a responsibility to learn and to grow and to stretch. And we can’t just keep saying, because the world is gonna make it like no big deal. You can say whatever you want, you can say it however you want. There, it’s no big deal to them. But if it’s a big deal to God, we gotta make it a big deal to us too.

Scripture on Speech

And so, like I said, there’s scripture everywhere. Proverbs alone has over a hundred and fifty verses about speech. Just Proverbs. And that book, if you need like a real book to get practical real fast, just go to Proverbs. It’ll hurt you. Because it’ll it’s some of those scriptures will really sting, but it’s practical. If you’re ever like the Bible’s not practical, go read Proverbs. But a hundred and fifty, that’s not a small number. And that book is not that big, but it’s got a lot. I’m gonna read four. Four out of the hundred and fifty.

Proverbs 12:18 says, the words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 15:4 says, the soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 21:23, those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity, which just means trouble.

Proverbs 18:21, and this is of course the key scripture. Everybody knows this, the key scripture for us this morning. The tongue has the power of life and death. Those who love it will eat its fruit.

And so we’ve got to, as believers, put more emphasis on the fact that our words are either life or death. There isn’t neutral. Our words don’t have like a neutral gear. It’s life or it’s death. And we’ve got to put a little bit more emphasis on that. And like I said, I think a lot of times when we think about the power of our words, we really just think about the big fight. Oh, it’s a big fight. That’s the one that’s gonna wound, that’s the one that’s gonna hurt. Or like in a positive situation, the proposal. The moment you get engaged, the moment all you think, you think, oh, there we go, it’s all good now. It doesn’t stop there. Those words have to keep going. They’re setting us on a course.

The thing that really makes a difference are actually the little moments of our words. It’s the little ones, it’s the daily tone of your voice. It’s the words that you say about yourself. Those matter. And it’s the words you say about others. Those are the ones that are actually shaping your life. Those are the ones.

Relationships Are Hard Because Words Are Hard

And so relationships are hard. That’s what we’re saying, right? Well, I say relationships are hard because words are hard. Our relationships are hard because saying the right thing and thinking the right thing and doing the right thing all the time is hard. But it’s so important in our relationships because our words are how we connect. So it’s vital. The words we say are vital to our relationships. So we have to put the right emphasis on it.

So this morning, I’ve got three questions that I want you to ask yourself. And they are ways that you can examine your words. So that’s what we’re gonna do this morning. Is that okay? Okay.

Where Are Your Words Taking You?

The first question is where are your words taking you? Where are your words taking you? So we’re gonna go to James 3. James 3, chapter 3 is basically a mini sermon on words and the power of your tongue. We don’t have time to read it all. It’s not very long, and so I encourage you to go do that. Read it on your own time because you’ll wanna you’ll want to understand it more. You’ll want to understand it deeper. But because there’s football on, we don’t have time to read the whole chapter.

So, James 3, and we’re gonna start in verse 3 and read through six.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.

These are warning words for the power of something very small. The tongue is not that big in comparison to the body as a whole, but James is pointing out some very key things about the power and direction. He points to two things that, if I’m honest, I knew nothing about a horse. I don’t like horses. They’re big. Thank you. I’m with you. They’re big. I don’t got control over them. Turns out I’m allergic to them, so that’s a really good excuse to not have to get on a horse. I don’t like horses, so I don’t know anything about them.

And then he references a ship. The only thing I know about ships is what I learned from Titanic. So there’s that. It’s not a lot. So first, I did some research because this is important for us to understand, right? Okay, so the bit for a horse is a small metal piece placed in the horse’s mouth, and it’s connected to the reins. The bit applies gentle pressure to sensitive areas so that when a rider pulls, it helps signal direction from small movements. So those movements will turn it, stop it, help it go, all of that. So this very small thing helps you control something that is very large. Okay? So that’s the horse. And we can’t ignore that, that it’s this small thing in the right places that help it turn.

The other thing he mentions is the rudder of a ship. And like I said, all I know is what I learned from Titanic. Well, here’s something. I learned something about ships watching Titanic more times than I can count. Please don’t have opinions about that. I saw it in theaters when it came out six times. Okay? And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen it since. I know the words to this movie. A lot of them, if not all of them, because I’ve seen it that many times. And what I learned has nothing to do with the dumb door. Okay? I’m sorry. I’ve got nothing, I’ve got opinions about the door, but that’s not what I learned.

What I learned, and I kept hearing this line over and over, is there’s an officer in the movie, and he says, the ship is too large with too small a rudder. The rudder was not actually too small, but the rudder is very small in comparison to the size of the ship. And small movements of the rudder are what begin to turn the ship. And so it’s not going to turn quickly. It’s not like the wheel of a car, that you just turn it and the vehicle goes. That’s not how it works with a ship. There’s momentum, there’s currents, there’s all these other things. And so the rudder is what helps turn the ship.

So what happened with Titanic was that they saw the iceberg too late and they couldn’t turn it fast enough because the rudder is small. But the problem wasn’t the rudder, it was that they waited too long. There was a delay in using it. And so, what is that? How does that relate to the tongue? It’s the danger isn’t that our words don’t work. Our words work. It’s that we wait too long to change direction. So it causes harm. So we wait so long that like our words are out there, they’re going out there, they’re they’re building life or death, and then we notice the direction we’re heading in, we don’t like, but it’s too late. Because the words are out there.

So that’s what James is trying to is trying to warn us. Like a bit or a rudder, we may say small, like we may the things we’re saying may seem really small, but those words are quietly determining the direction you’re headed. It’s quiet. It’s not obvious right away. But if you’re not careful, you’re gonna be heading in a direction that you do not want to be headed in.

Where Do Our Words Come From?

Okay, so if we know our words are important, we know they determine the direction. I think before we move on, we have to be very clear about where our words come from. Where do our words come from?

Matthew 12:34-37 says, You brood of vipers. I love when Jesus is a little bit feisty. He’s talking to the Pharisees, and they’re speaking some words to Jesus that are not correct to a crowd of people, and it’s changing the way people are seeing what Jesus has done. And so he’s correcting it. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? This is important. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings the evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

There’s so much to unpack in these words that Jesus speaks, and we don’t have a lot of time to really dig deep, but I do want to break it down a little bit. So this is the key one. The mouth speaks what the heart is full of. They’re overflow. The words you say, you might think, oh, that just comes out. It’s not. It’s overflow from what’s in your heart. That’s what’s spilling out. So when you’re under pressure, what spills out is what you’ve been storing up. It’s not intentional. It’s what you’ve stored up. That quick reactionary comment, that thing that just like pops out when you’re unex when it’s unexpected, that’s not accidental. It’s heart. That’s what your heart is full of.

So do you see that your words are actually not random? It’s what you’ve been putting in and what you’ve been storing, and it’s all those things. And when you say something, it’s coming out of that overflow. And then the next part says, a good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him. So if you’re storing up negativity and bitterness and anger, no matter how hard you try, encouragement and life are not going to flow naturally out of you. Because it’s out of the good things stored up that things come out.

And then everyone must give account. Everyone for the careless things we say. I’m with Shirley. She said, Oh, Jesus. Like the level of repentance that needs to start flowing from all of us is high. Because it’s not just a few of us that are gonna take account of that. It’s every single one of us, and I certainly have said some careless things and some reckless things. We all have, none of us are perfect. But do you see how much emphasis God is putting on our words? He’s gonna hold us accountable.

And then he says, by your words you’ll be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. This isn’t to shame us. This isn’t to shame us. God doesn’t do that, but I do think it’s a it’s to help us be more aware. It’s really important that we’re that we’re more aware of everything coming out of us.

So the truth is we can’t just like discipline our tongues out of our own free will. Like, we can’t cut out our tongue, it’s not an option, even though some days you might want to. Like, that’s not how it works. What needs to happen is a change in your heart. The way you fix your words is by changing your heart. That’s how life begins to overflow.

And I just want to add one note. The words you type are also your words. Just because you didn’t say it out loud does not mean that you won’t be held accountable for them. Those times where you’re like, hey, I’m gonna have that conversation by text, bad idea. For two reasons. One, you’re gonna say something that you would never say if you were looking that person in the eye. You would never say it to their face. We’re very bold behind that little phone or that little keyboard.

The other thing is, and this is big. Those words you say, you know, the words you say out loud can fade. The words you type, that person has them there to read them over and over and over. That’s damaging. It’s damaging. And young people, the stuff you post online, you might not think it’s there forever. It is. Someone’s gonna screenshot it. If Hollywood teaches us anything, you can’t delete fast enough for the whole world. Don’t do it. It’s words. It’s words. And we have to pay attention to that.

Proverbs 13:3 says, those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.

And so our words are guardrails. They are. They either lead to protection or destruction. But it’s a direction, either way. So we gotta know where our words are taking us. So that’s number one.

Do You Hear Yourself?

Number two is do you hear yourself? Do you hear yourself? Have you ever asked yourself what you’re like to talk to? Like we only hear ourselves from like the inside. It’s like internal for like really. But everyone else hears you outside. Have you ever thought about that? Like, have you ever listened to your voicemail? Like your outgoing like message thing. Oh my god, it’s awful. Or like sometimes Grace is listening or watching videos on our phones, and my voice pops up, and I’m like, oh. Even right now, I’m like, how are you guys listening to me? My voice is yucky. I don’t like it. Like, that’s how I feel about my own voice.

That’s not the only way, or even the best way, because you’re just usually like trying to do your best. Like your voicemail, you’re trying to sound a certain way. If you have kids or people who are close to you, that’s the best way to hear yourself. Kids in particular, they’re parrots. They don’t just say what you say, they say it how you say it. And I have heard Grace say some things, and I’m like, oh, that’s me. And that’s not cute. Like, whoa. It’s like a blaring red light of like, this is what you sound like.

And so it’s painful, and other people that you’re close to can do the same thing. Like they can mimic what you say and what you sound like. That’s a it’s a way that you can hear it. And kids in particular, I think we all can be good interpreters of it, but kids in particular can be really sensitive to tone. Grace asks David and I at least 15 times a day, are you mad at me? And we’ll say, No, sweetheart, why? And she’ll say, You sound mad. You sound mad. And it doesn’t take long for you to realize that the tone of your voice is changing the atmosphere of the room. It’s changing the entire atmosphere.

And so if you catch yourself being short and sharp and maybe using your voice even in a different way than you usually do, I’ve done this in our home. I can tell that I’m mad or I’m frustrated or I’m being short or I’m whatever. And then I change it. You know what happens? The whole atmosphere changes. The whole course of the day changes. We go from having a challenging day to a great day. And it starts with how we’re talking.

Proverbs 15:1 says, a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

What I love about this verse is it’s not actually talking about the words themselves. Like it’s not talking about the actual word being gentle or the actual word being harsh. It’s focused on the delivery. It’s focused on the tone, the posture, the spirit of what you’re trying to say. And so a gentle tone can calm a situation. But a harsh tone can escalate it, can make it much more intense than it needs to be.

And so I think so many times there’s this really negative connotation to being gentle. Like I think Jesus was gentle. But Jesus said things, says things like you brood a vipers. And we can’t hear how Jesus said that, but it’s received. And instead of harming a relationship, we actually make progress in the relationship. Because a lot of times when we’re harsh, it’s it’s because of conflict. I mean, unless you’re just an angry person, then you might sound like that all the time. But like for most people, harshness comes out in the heat of a moment, and it escalates that moment, and it keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. But if someone changes the tone, it can de-escalate it. So tone is often the difference between peace and conflict.

Like, if I don’t hear myself clearly, then how can I expect anyone else to hear me clearly? Like, it’s a valid question. And there’s always a gap between what you meant to say and what they heard. There’s a there’s a gap, and I think we can all agree that that exists. But that’s because your intention actually doesn’t matter. Your intention in that moment, it doesn’t matter. Like it matters how you delivered it. Because intent is something that lives on the inside of you. Like what you meant is an internal thing, and whether we like it or not, no one else can see that between but it’s just you and God.

But the person you’re talking to can’t see your intent. The person you’re talking to, your intent has to travel through their filter, and their filter is clouded by their experiences, their fears, their stress, how much they trust you. So your intent actually doesn’t matter because how you deliver it will depend on if they can receive it well through all those filters, and yes, they have a responsibility on the other side to hear it right, all that kind of stuff, but like we always say, I teach Grace this almost every day. The only person you can control is you, you’re the only one in control of that, and so how do we like bridge that gap? How do we how do we make it so we actually sound like we want to sound so people can hear us better?

Well, there’s a few things that you can do that are really practical and painful. Ask someone you trust, and what they tell you you need to listen to, and this is someone you really trust. So, like when David and I are having an argument, sometimes David will mirror what I sound like, it’s awful, it’s painful, but I learn, I learn how he hears me, and that matters. It hurts. And I don’t always know how to de escalate when it happens, but later, I said, if that’s in my mind, and as I’m praying and as I’m asking for God’s help, I recognize that I have some work to do, and that’s the second thing. You gotta do the work. Your tone of voice isn’t just gonna change magically, you’re gonna have to be pretty intentional about it. And it’s an internal work and an external work, it’s not just one or the other, it’s both.

So the space between what you what you meant and what they heard, that’s where the relational damage happens. Like that’s where the damage is happening. It’s not necessarily what either of you are saying, it’s the delivery, and it’s the gap. So while that’s where the damage can happen, it’s also the place where the most growth can happen, and I think that’s really important, as challenging as it is, and just like my last one, I have a note. Stop saying you know my heart to people. Oh, you know my heart. No, they don’t. Like you say that because you know you said it wrong, and you’re just trying to cover it up. The only person who knows your heart is you and God. That’s it.

And remember what we said in the last point out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So if you’re having to say, you know my heart, do you know your heart? Like I’m sorry. I that’s hard. But as I was studying this, I was hearing that. And it’s when we say that, it’s just an excuse. That’s all it is. It’s an excuse for the fact that we had something good in our heart and it didn’t come out that way. Instead, say, I’m sorry, I said that wrong. Can I try again? It’ll go a lot farther.

Are You Speaking Life or Death?

Okay, that was number two. And this is number three, it’s our last point. Are you speaking life or death? Scripture makes it clear that the tongue either speaks life or death. And I think that we don’t want to put emphasis on the death we speak because I think death is a harsh word. Death is a painful word. It’s it’s there’s not a lot to that word that ever brings up something good in us. But death is painful, and when we speak death, it’s painful to people.

But for most of us in the room, death is we say, oh, I don’t speak death. We don’t argue that much. That’s not what we’re talking about. Death is the constant criticism that you say. It’s the, oh, I was just joking. Again, another cover up. It’s the eye roll with a comment. That’s death. It’s the cutting remark that you say to someone that you just think is harmless or you pretend is harmless. It’s it’s the sarcasm that has just a little too much, too much edge on it. We try to convince ourselves that these kinds of things are really no big deal. But they are. They go down to the inmost parts.

What’s that saying? The verse is saying that gossip gossip is delicious. It’s delicious at first. But gossip goes deep down inside and it settles. But the death that it’s causing isn’t just to you or to the person you’re talking about. It’s to the person you’re talking to. Because the person you’re talking to is now having new words that you’ve spoken about someone that they know, settling deep down inside of them. Our words paint pictures and our words describe things. And we all know that when we’re gossiping, however we’re saying it, we’re gonna make sure we look good in the situation. So you’re making it so that someone else sees someone through your eyes, not through God’s eyes. And that’s wrong.

And if you’re in this room, church, we can be the worst at this. Because we’ll disguise it as concern and just say, I just want to pray for them. You’re still gossiping, and you’re hurting more than just yourself, just the person you’re talking about. Never forget that you’re hurting the person you’re talking to. It’s painful, and you’re changing perception.

We can put too much emphasis, I think, on the reality that we speak death. I think we all know that we speak death. But in the same amount of time that we could be speaking death, we can speak life. We can speak life.

Proverbs 16:24 says gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Your words can also heal. They’re that powerful. They can heal. They can restore. You know, you could change someone’s entire day by speaking life. And honestly, like Pastor Marshall said, you can change someone’s life by giving life. By giving it.

You know, this past week, I picked my daughter up from school. And we’re on our way to the church after we’re at school, and she’d had a pretty tough day. And I just told her, we don’t have to talk about it. It’s okay. We’ll talk about it when you’re ready. And normally that means she’s not gonna talk about it at all. But she started talking to me. And that day at school, a lot had happened, but in particular, someone had called her stupid, someone had called her weird, someone had called her ugly, someone had told her that I was weird, and nobody, like whoever that was, doesn’t know me, so you know, she was throwing insult, right?

And we’re driving, so all I can see is her eyes in the rear view mirror. And they’re tearing up, they’re red. And that’s for me a sheer sign that what she’s telling me is true because she’s a tough kid. But those words cut and they cut deep. And so I was driving, so I was careful, but when I stopped the car, I turned around and I looked her in the eye and I said, You are not stupid. I said, You are so smart. I said, You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you different. With the weird one, I said, who cares if you’re weird? There’s nothing wrong with being weird. Be yourself. Be you. Just be you. I said, you’re awesome. God created you. And don’t let anyone ever tell you different.

And those tears and those red eyes went from sad. I could see the life going back into her. She didn’t have a lot to say. She just said, okay, mommy. But to be honest with you, I realized the power of words on both sides. She was wounded, she was hurt. And I had an opportunity to heal and to restore. And it didn’t take much. A few days later, my mom did the same thing for her. And so her head is back up. Her shoulders are back. Her confidence is coming back. We have the power to do that. For people. And as believers, that should be always on our lips. That the people we encounter encounter Jesus through us with our words. It’s so important.

Ephesians 4:29 says, do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. That it may benefit those who listen.

Just one other piece of that. When I was talking to Grace, I had a lot of choice words in my head about the person who spoke those words. As any parent would, right? And I had a choice also in that moment, whether I said those out loud to Grace or not. And I chose not to.

James 3:9-10 says, with the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

Hard to hear because it’s so true. We praise God. And then out of the same, and sometimes in the same breath, we curse our neighbor. Do you know what our worship sometimes sounds like? I love you, Lord, and I hate my neighbor. That’s sometimes what it sounds like. That’s sometimes what it sounds like.

And if you look back, that we called it people are hard. They are. I’m not saying they aren’t hard. They absolutely are. And when I say that we have to do, that we need to speak life, I’m not saying we don’t ever deal with hard things or have hard conversations. We have to. Speaking life doesn’t mean we we’re pretending that everything is just fine. That’s not what we’re doing. But it does mean we’re leaving room for people to grow. That’s what it means. We don’t have to, nor should we tear someone down because they’re not where we think they should be. And when we speak death, we we could be interrupting that and halting that.

It doesn’t mean that we don’t speak the truth in love. There’s a lot of times God will use our words to help someone, to help someone grow, to help someone stretch. But it can’t be that we’re using those moments to speak death when we should be speaking life, encouraging them with scripture, encouraging them with true words of God to help them in their situation and to help them in our their growth. That’s what we should be doing. And so we either speak life or death. Those are the options. There is no neutral.

So remember that today as you go out. Remember that you have opportunity to speak life or death. And so this morning we asked three questions. Where are your words taking you? Do you hear yourself? And are you speaking life or death? I don’t think these are easy questions to ask yourself. I think they’re really hard.

But there’s one other verse in James that I think is helpful. It says James says in chapter 3, verse 2 we all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. Well, only Jesus was perfect. Only He’s the one who can keep everything in check. So we’re gonna stumble. We’re gonna make mistakes. But what we’re always hoping for and aiming for is growth and maturity in Christ.

So this morning the challenge is that not God help me never say another mean thing. No, we’ve got other work to do, right? We’ve got to build something up in our hearts to really change our words. But our prayer and our request to the Father is, Holy Spirit, help me. Help me be tender when I’m saying death. Help me feel that conviction to change it. And it’s the challenge is to do the hard work today, tomorrow, the next day, with the help of the Holy Spirit and not in our own strength.

Can we pray? Heavenly Father, we come before you. And we’re grateful for your forgiveness for the places where we’ve been flippant with our words, not cautious, too quick to judge or too quick to say our opinion. We ask for forgiveness in those areas, Father. And we ask that over the coming days and weeks and months that your words would be what’s filling our hearts. So that out of our heart are your words to people, so that our relationships can grow. And in places where we feel disconnected, you reconnect because we’re learning how to use our words the way you would have us use those words. We thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to stretch, to grow, to do better because of your help, not in our own strength, Father. We can’t do this on our own. Filling us up to give life to every person that we encounter in every opportunity that we’re given. And we thank you for that ourselves that we are going to do our best to speak life. Because as we speak life, we will see things change. We will see things change for ourselves. We will see things change in our relationships. But we will also begin to see bigger change in our cities, in our workplaces. And so, Lord, we ask that you help us be your vessel with the words that you have to speak to people. We thank you for it in Jesus’ name.

Just need one more minute of your time before we go. If we’re honest with ourselves, words are actually what brought you here. Not just words that brought you in the room. Words that brought you in the room could be from an invitation from someone. But God’s words are what actually brought you in the room today. Think about this. God spoke and the world was created. God spoke and man was created. Jesus spoke, and people were healed. Jesus spoke, and lives were transformed. Their words carried power from the very beginning.

And this morning, before we leave, your words, your confession that Jesus is Lord and you believe that God raised him from the dead can be the thing that connects you to the Father. And so I ask that everybody would bow their heads and close their eyes. I just want to talk to two groups of people. In the room, and you’ve never committed your life to the Lord. You’ve never confessed that you believe that Jesus is Lord. And we, it would be our privilege to pray with you today about that. Or maybe you’re in the room and you used to follow God and you’ve just found yourself maybe distracted or disconnected. Well, there’s a beautiful verse that says, Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. And it’s really simple. You can just turn back. Turn back to Him.

And so if either one of those are you this morning, here in just a moment, I’m gonna count to three. And if you would like to be included in that prayer, I want you to hold, I want you to raise your hand and raise it high so I can see who we’re praying with. No one else is looking around. This is something between you and God. And the words you say don’t have to be perfect. It’s not about that, but it is about saying the words out loud and about the posture of your heart that you believe this. And so if this is you this morning, would you raise your hand on the count of three? One, two, three.

There’s hands in the room, and we’re so grateful for what God is doing in hearts this morning. And so would you all repeat this out loud with me as we pray? God in heaven, I thank you for Jesus. I thank you that he came and died and rose again for me. I’m sorry that I sinned against you. Come into my life and give me a brand new start. I thank you that you now live in me, and I’ll follow you the rest of my days. In Jesus’ name, amen.