Would You Call You Back?

I just got back from taping a couple of TV programs

I just got back from taping a couple of TV programs with Jim Baker. Maybe you remember Jim Baker, his wife Lori, at the PTL Networks in Missouri, close to to Branson. A fabulous man joined us as a co-host. He goes by the name Mondo. He had a really, really rough life marked by crime and prisons and addictions. And here he is sitting next to me on my left. He’s born again, spirit-filled, has written his own book called My Crazy Life. And I got the opportunity to sit with all three of them and tape a couple of programs. And because of your generosity, we were able to sew some books into the TV audience. When the word got out, the first taping grew. Between first and second, the numbers grew because they heard there was a book that was a gift, and so they they turned out and we were able to sew it into their life.

But the the sweetest thing happened when I got back to the hotel, and I hadn’t eaten in really two days, just scheduled things happening, just snacked a little bit. And I sat down to eat, the restaurant, the hotel, and God had already spoken to my spirit, just you know how he does sometimes. It’s just an impression, it’s not an audible voice, but you just know it’s just the thought comes, you know you didn’t you know you didn’t it didn’t originate with you. And it was I want you to be really generous with the tip today. I normally am, but when he said really generous, I knew it was more than I normally do. And so a young woman, college age, came came out to wait on me, and I ate just I think it was a I know you’re interested in this, that’s why I’m taking time. It was a turkey sandwich with some avocado on it and something else. And the point is is that the tip I gave was more than a hundred percent tip on what I’d eaten.

And I gave it to this woman. I walked up to the cash register, and she met me there and she said, Do you want to cash out? I said I would like to. And so I had it in cash. I didn’t put it on the ticket. I went ahead and took care of the ticket, but I wanted to make sure she just got it, and I handed it to her, and she looked at me like I don’t have any change, and I said, That’s for you. And she just her head dropped and her shoulders dropped, and I saw a tear come out of an eye, and she just looked up and she said, This is for me. All of it. I said, No, I’ll give it back. So we kind of broke through the tear phase and got into a laughing phase, and she was so grateful and so thankful, and she says, Can I ask where you’re from? And I told her, I’m from New Mexico. You have to make that clear. Yep, right. There’s a new one. Next call.

And she said, Well, can I ask what you’re here for? And I got to tell her, I said, you know, I just was near Branson, south of here. This was in Springfield where I was staying. She said, I said, in Branson, and I was doing a couple of TV tapings for the PTL network and Jim Baker, and she didn’t know who they were. And I said, Well, how long have you been here? And she said, I was born and raised here. So I remembered that PTL originated in, I think it’s North Carolina. And so she she didn’t grow up knowing anything about it. And I said, you know, he’s a he’s a Christian man. He hit a hard place in life, but God has worked in him and he’s recovered his ministry, and he’s brought it now to Branson and it’s smaller than what he had in North Carolina, but it’s actually tried to just scale it down. It looks real similar to the original. And he’s 86, by the way. He’s 86 years old. And I just said, you know, I talked, I said, you know, so that’s why I’m here. I’m getting ready to head back tomorrow.

She goes, you know, I have been reading Psalm 23. And Psalm 91, and both of those are dealt with in the book. And I said, I said, are you gonna be here in in the next 10 minutes? And she said, Oh yeah. I said, I’ve got a book that I’ve just written. She said, You wrote it? I said, Well, yeah. Don’t I look like a writer? She says, yeah, I’ll be here. So I went up to my hotel room and I had two books left. And one was already signed, and the other one was unsigned. And so I grabbed it and I and I signed it. I had asked her if she wanted me to sign it for her. She said, Yes, I signed. Blessings on your journey of faith. And took it down to her. And we just had some time. No one was pressing her, no one was in the line behind me to check out. And I just handed it to her. And she just goes again, she goes, she’s doing her hands like this. And she’s going, I’ve just studying these psalms. Do you think? And I finished the sentence. I said, that this is a God moment. I don’t know how she would have finished it, but that’s how I would have finished it. That this is a God moment. And she just smiled and she says, I think it is. Thank you so much.

I said, think about this. I said, God sent someone all the way from New Mexico. Albuquerque, New Mexico, to do some things here, but to bring a copy of this brand new book to you, confirming to you that he’s speaking to you. That he cares for you. I said, when God confirms something, he wants whatever’s happening to go a little bit deeper. I said, so I’m encouraging you to take the book if it’s helpful. And when you’re done with it, pass it on, you know, to somebody else that might might need it or want it. And I was just so blessed. It’s what I saw when God laid out instructions to write the book, that it would be a gift to those who were hurting to bring them up, but it would also become a ministry tool. It’s small, easy to read, it’s got some depth to it. If you’re a student of the Bible, there’s plenty to study in that small book. But it we want it to be a ministry tool. And so that alone was worth the trip. But I wanted you to be proud of me too. I have to say I wanted I wanted to represent you well in this new opportunity that God had provided to get the word out to get the book out. They said they want me back, they want me back for three days just to teach what’s in the book or whatever God puts on on my heart. So we’ll see what happens.

The guy who drove me back to the airport, his name is Treon Farron, excuse me, Farron, and he began to prophesy over me. I love when God puts something on somebody’s heart and they they want to speak into my life. I would rather they pull off on the side of the road to do it than get all excited like this while they were prophesying. But it was a beautiful word he spoke over over me, and one that I’m anxious to live out, and I’ll tell you about it another time.

How to be a good friend

Okay, you’re ready to get into the word today. I really don’t have 78 points, I only have about four. There’s so much to say. I didn’t bring my list of 15 characteristics that AI provided for me. When I asked AI, what are the qualities of a good friend? I set those aside and I prayed instead. And I said, Holy Ghost. Well, what do you have specifically for these precious people that I give the privilege to pastor? And my mind ended up being filled with more than 15 points. So I really had to work to just narrow it down to some pastoral points. Things I would share with you if we were here in the altar and we had a few minutes, or you came into my office and you wanted to talk about some things concerning relationship or friendship. So it’s not, you know, again, it’s not it’s not going to be thorough enough for some, but it’s all we have time for today. And you know, if God really did give them to us, gave them to me to give to you, they’re going to be something special. And for some of us at least, if not all of us, something we really did need. It’ll be a word in season. Can I have an amen?

So I’m talking today about how to be a good friend. The subtitle is Would You Call You Back? And I’m thankful for David for that. He is super with titles. If you ever need a title, give Pastor David, a call. Or text him. Said, I I need a title, a good one. But I thought about it, made me laugh like it’s making you laugh. But then I thought, yeah, yeah, that’s a great question. Would you call you back? Are you the kind of friend to someone else that you would like someone to be to you? You know, someone said this, the only way to have a friend is to be one.

If you look in both the Hebrew and Greek text, the original languages of the Old Testament and New Testament, the meanings of the word are similar. It’s interesting, there are a few words translated by the word friend. The most common word in the Hebrew is the word rea, R-E-A. And it literally means associate, companion, a comrade, along those lines. When you get into the New Testament, it gets a little bit deeper. The most, the word most often translated, Greek word, translated friend in the New Testament is the word Phileo. Say that word out loud, Philaleo. It’s it appears as the word philosoph and it comes from that word phileo. And listen, this the meaning, the primary meaning of the word phileo is dear. It goes a little deeper because a friend, a good friend is someone who’s dear to you. You might not even go a day without thinking about their name or thinking about how they’re doing. You might go longer than that. But it’s somebody who’s on that, you know. Did you so always their name just always floats up to the top of your mind and your thinking when you’re thinking about friendships and relationships?

You know, anything that God thinks of and that he imagines for us has to be super special. And he’s the one who thought up the idea of friendship. Again, it’s not good for any man to be alone. Two are better than one. Ton of scriptures we could have already been referenced. Again, I’m gonna ask you again. Did you enjoy what David and Jordan and Cindy have to say about relationships? I mean, rich, rich. I hope you’ll go back and hear it and study it. Really, it’ll change the way you see yourself, the way you see relationships, the way you see other people, opportunities. You’ll miss less opportunities to actually enter into friendship. Because that’s what they are. They are golden opportunities that God has in some cases personally arranged for you to be in. He allows freedom of choice. He allows you to choose who your friends are and who they won’t be. And we we need great discretion when it comes to bringing people that close into our life, right? We really do need God’s help.

You know, you’re only thinking about AI really, there are people that are incredibly interested in it. There are people that are incredibly afraid of it. And actually, when you talk about fear today and fears today, it’s one of those that I’ve started talking about. Because the technology is at a place right now, and it’s young, it’s fresh, it’s new, just under development. But right now, you and I are looking at things, things are coming at us right now, by and large, through social media, anti-social media, whatever you want to call it, refer to it as. There are things that are on that are funny, they’re hilarious, they’re really cute. There are other things that really do stir up your emotions. You know, they’re showing people that were young, and then they’re showing what they were when they were older, they’re showing them, and it’s interesting, all of them either have gold wings or white wings who have already died. And they’re showing these side by side comparisons and pictures. But the faces are so real, the gestures are so real, the way they blink their eyes, the way they move their mouth, the way they turn their head. If you didn’t know to just look a little deeper, it could fool you. Because they can then take that sound bite and they can develop your voice asking for a loan, talking to someone about your credit, giving permission to do this or do that. And it’s the sound of your voice. Of course, there’s some good uses for it, but mankind is pretty much proven they’ll take the low road. I mean, don’t place a bet that it’s going to be used for more good than not. Don’t.

But I think there’s spiritual AI. I think there’s always been deception in the world. And Jesus warned his own disciples about it. When he began to talk about the last of the last days, it’s actually the first thing on the list he mentioned that would actually increase earthquakes, rumors of wars, pestilence, all of that. None of it’s new. It’s on the increase. We’re seeing those numbers increase. It’s on a it’s gaining some momentum. It’s no longer is it just the evil of prior generations being added to present generations. No longer is it just the evil of prior generations being multiplied by the evil in a new generation. It’s on an exponential climb. And it will one day explode upon humanity in a way that’s going to be incredibly destructive. But as a part of the plan, there’s spiritual AI that’s being developed. And some of that’s going to come at you in the form of someone offering a handshake or partnership with. You and I need to be prepared. And thank God the Bible talks about us having an anointing and we know all things. Well, we don’t know all things up here, but what that’s referring to is we have God’s insight into everything when we need it. Only the secret things, scripture makes it clear that there are secret things, and God, they belong to God. And he won’t reveal them unless he wants to. But there are other things that he does reveal to us that belong not only to us, but help help us prepare our children. They’re for us and the next generation. God’s always looking to give us the advantage, church family. And if we’re looking to him, we’ll always have the advantage. Amen. If our faith is active in him, we’ll always have the advantage. And even when we get taken advantage of, God is still merciful and can come in and help us.

But I bring that up again concerning this area of who we’re in relationship and specifically who we’re allowing into that smaller circle that we call our friends. And that and it’s incredibly important. The things I just said are incredibly incredibly important, I think, as a pastor in keeping you safe and keeping you sound and keeping you on track and moving forward. Amen.

I would want to be someone who makes you feel welcomed and makes you feel safe

So to answer this question, would you call you back? Again, let me just give you these four simple things. I think all of them will speak to you in one way or another. But number one, I’ll speak for myself. I would want to be someone who makes you feel welcomed and makes you feel safe. I think a good friend will do that. I think a good friend will make you feel welcome or hospitable. But they also want to make you feel safe. Someone you’re confident is not pretending to be happy to see you. A good friend is never pretentious or pretending to be something they’re not. You can’t enjoy a real friendship. We all know this by not being genuine, right? Because you end up being a shell of yourself, and it ends up being nothing. Amen. I end up, you don’t really know me, and I don’t know you if we’re just putting on, right? If we’re just messing with one another’s emotions. I’m hiding certain things. You’re hiding so much. Where’s that going to go? It’s not going to go to a place where the Bible would define as friendship. And that’s what we’re really interested in, right, church, is what the Bible refers to when we look at the word friend. Yeah? Because again, in the world system, everything seems to be on the table to be redefined. And the God of this world is always going to work to twist it in a way that moves us away from God and away from God’s purposes for our life. God’s got the best for you here. Anything the God of this world is going to do is going to be less than that. So much less than that. In the end, it’ll work to imprison you or to enslave you, right?

The part about being safe, you know, I I never would want you to feel as though that I’m I’m I’m looking for a gotcha moment. Do you know what that that is? We see a lot of that in the media. In fact, I just heard somebody the other day in our church interviewed something happened in her neighborhood. She was interviewed, shared her opinion about what had happened. By the time they had edited it, it was pretty much nothing that she had really said or meant. Because they’re looking for something that agrees with their point of view. And if you don’t have it, they’ll twist it. They’re looking to get you to incriminate you. They’re looking to again make you appear to be something you’re not. But a good friend works toward your safety. They’re not sitting with you waiting for something that they can use against you at a time that they feel is what opportune. It’ll work for me. See, a good friend doesn’t do that. A good friend puts the friend first. Can I say it again? A good friend puts the friend first. And not himself or herself. Someone said this, it’s a quote I read about friendship. A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you. That’s right. Right?

I think when someone offers you a handshake, it should you should feel welcome, but you should also feel strength. You should feel somehow again safe by what you’re experiencing experiencing. Whether it’s a handshake, a warm hug from someone. I got several hugs this morning, but I had to question whether it was the warm sweater. Or not. Made me think. And guys, I can do without the holy kiss thing. I’m just saying. In Europe, it’s cultural. I’ll go to Romania if I were to go to Romania next week. My friends in Romania, would the first thing we do, men and women, would greet me with a holy kiss. And I still wouldn’t know what to do with it. It’s not our culture. But that’s just the first point. I want you, if I were your friend, I would want you to feel well welcome. Everything’s not open. Not yet. But I would want you to feel the possibility of what could be. The opportunity golden that God has given us, perhaps. Let’s not miss that.

Scripture says this about love covering our mistakes. Again, people that are looking for what’s not right will likely find it at some point. There’s just no one who is perfect. God’s not looking for perfect, but he is looking for progress, and he is looking for you know, us to be taking steps toward him. Amen. Love covers Proverbs 10 12 says this hatred keeps old quarrels alive. Isn’t that amazing? How we can forget the thank you card that was just written. But remember something that happened 15 years ago. 10 good things someone will say about you today, or nine good things. One thing that really kind of wounded you or hurt you, got you thinking, doubting. And you’ll go to bed tonight, not thinking about the nine. You’ll go to bed thinking about that one. Amen. That’s part of the healing the Holy Spirit wants to do in our soul. He wants to switch our wiring around. To where we’re expecting the best, believing the best, wanting the best.

Again, hatred keeps old quarrels alive, but love draws a veil over every insult and finds a way to make the sin disappear.

In the New Testament, 1 Peter 4:8,

above all, constantly echo, constantly echo God’s intense love for one another. For love will be a canopy, say canopy over a multitude of sins.

Scripture’s clear. And God is giving us a way to help that person and to help ourselves at the same time. Learn how to handle that sin. Do something beneficial with it. Believe it or not, even sin be defeated. I feel like I shouldn’t even have to say that to the church, but some have forgotten that. Sin shall not have dominion over you. And if you’re a protector of sorts, you don’t want it to have dominion over your friend.

Did you know I don’t tell this to everybody? Seems kind of weird. Even bring it up today, but I’ve only had one fist fight in 71 years of my life. Only one. And you know what it was about? An older classman picking on a friend of mine. Brilliant guy. He’s about that tall. The guy picking on him was this tall. We were waiting for school to start, waiting for the doors to open, and I just happened to see him pushing John around, and I didn’t even think. I got right in the middle of it between the two of them. And I put John behind me. I covered him. And this guy, you know, came, came, came. I’m just, I weigh 145 pounds, so watch out. As tall as I, I was tall as I am now then, but I weighed about 145 pounds. Watch out. So we decided to take it to the gym after school. So I got to think about this all day long. What did I just do? And I would try to encourage myself and say, You’re taking up for a friend. You’re doing the right thing. I said, I’m about to get my beat. How’d it come out, Pastor? We’ll talk about that another time. Actually, we came out. It didn’t, it got started, and our coach walked out into the gym about the same time. So it’s got it stopped almost as soon as it started. Praise God. I don’t know if I was walking with God then at all. I can’t even remember, but I am so thankful to God that my my life didn’t end that day.

Helen Keller, I’m sure you’ve heard her say this about friendship. She said, Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. A good friend, then is just my first point is authentic, warm, and watchful.

Being a good listener is a lost art

Number two or two, I’ll move through these a little quicker. I just pulled that out. I just think listening to being a good listener. Is a lost art. I think it’s something we really all could say, God help me improve. Right? And I know some of the wives are shaking their head concerning their husband, but I’m not just talking to you. You know, men need to be heard too when they decide to speak. They need to be heard as well. Listen, ladies, it is it’s important when the man does decide to speak up, especially if he’s gonna open his heart and begin to try to bring, he’s been working on mining some things, how to say it, how should I say it and keep my manhood? How can I ask for this or that or talk about this or that and still be seen as a strong man? So it’s been a lot of work for him. He’s been under a lot of stress to get a find a way that he can verbalize that to you, his wife. So when he finally does decide to say something, I just beg you, stop whatever you’re doing. Put your phone down, please. Try to, if you can, if you need to, put the kids in the other room, or just find, agree on a time to talk about it later. But give the man a good listen. Amen. You want to be heard. He does too. Come on, help me, guys. All right.

Proverbs 10 19 says, if you keep talking, it won’t be long before you’re saying something really wrong. Scripture says that. Prove your wise from the very start just by your tongue and be strong. Listen to this. A good friend endeavors to be better at hearing than a lecturer, a good lecturer, a learner instead of the expert. I like that. A good hearer, listener is more concerned about being a good learner. What’s going on here? And the expert in whatever they’re they’re going to say in response to what they just heard.

Again, James 1:19 says this,

my dearest brothers and sisters, take this to heart. Be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry.

And I think if you do the first two, being slow to, I mean, quick to hear, slow to speak, the anger part will be much better managed. Even maybe put off altogether. Most of us, listen to me, are forming talking from my heart here to you. Most of us are forming the answer in our minds while the other person is still speaking. It’s happening right now with the sermon. You can see it or you can discern it, but a lot of times you just see it. Someone will come up here and ask me a question. It’s an important question to them. They ask it, and then I’ll go to answer it, and then they’re looking over my shoulder here or over here, or they’re looking down at their shoes. You know, that’s not being a good listener. That actually puts your friend off a little bit. You ask the question. Now be a good listener. And hear, hear the answer. Even if you don’t like it, give them a shot. Don’t start rolling your eyes. Like you asked the question and you already had the answer. Stop it. You ask the question. Wait for the answer. Be a good listener. Amen.

How you listen will always be reflected in how you answer. That’s right. As a friend. How you listen will show up in how you answer. A good friend never makes his friend feel stupid for asking for help. He’s there to help his friend unfold what’s going on on the inside of him or her. And then he pitches in, he partners with that person to come up with a solution that will work.

The great Christian martyr Bonhoeffer said this. He said, the Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s word to him. Amen. Are all my friends going to be Christian? No. You’re going to find some really good friends who aren’t yet believers. But you need to remember why you need to remember that God may have set you in that relationship to bring them along and help them finally. Because what they see in you as a Christian might really settle them, might really help them, encourage them. That being a Christian is not all stupid and weird and rolling down the aisles, and you know, and if you’re one of those, don’t talk about that. Okay. You follow? God will just use you. What they saw actually saw in you. You know, who was it? It was Augustine that said that. Always preach the gospel. On occasion, use words.

I think Pastor David spoke one of the best messages on spiritual warfare that I will possibly ever hear. And I’ve heard some good ones, and I’ve read some really good books on the subject. But when he talked about behavioral warfare, in other words, overcoming evil with good, turning the other cheek. Instead of returning the evil that was shown to you with another evil, you overcome evil with what? Good. Now you can shout, you can scream at the devil, the principalities, the powers, you can name all of them, whatever. But nothing is more effective than you, 24 7, behaving as a follower of Jesus Christ. Satan doesn’t know what to do with that. Because you’re living it. Oh my gosh. See, he watches, hears every day. Christians spout what they know, they think they know, quote scripture, but they’re not living it. Their faith is not active at all. So the shield of faith is not even up. They can quote you from Ephesians 6, be strong in the Lord in the power of his might, go through the whole list of pieces of armor and walk away and live a defeated life. Because their faith is just not active.

Can I say it to you this way? Jesus really isn’t their friend. They want him to be. Don’t misunderstand. But I don’t know that good intentions have ever finished a project. That’s right. And you can only celebrate potential so long before something has to be done. That’s why the scripture says, be doers of the word and not just hearers only. A good friend helps move the focus from the problem to the solution. That means bringing God’s wisdom into focus as well. A good friend makes others know that they are heard and valued and helped. I don’t know, but I won’t speak for the rest of the pastors here, even for you. I won’t presume that. But I would say between 80 and 90% of the people that come in to see me and have for 45 years of doing this, have really just needed someone to listen to them. And we got to talk, and we got to talk about a lot in a lot of cases, most cases. But most of those people had no one that they could trust to just hear them. You know, be that kind of friend.

A good friend sets and manages healthy boundaries

Number three, a good friend sets and manages healthy boundaries. Again, I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this again because so much already been said on it. But good friends do understand limits. They understand that other people have time restraints, constraints, they understand personal differences. I had to learn that about my children. They had different temperaments growing up. I could say the same thing. I would try to coach parent both of my girls in the same truths, but I had to learn how to say it to them in different ways. Because their temperaments were different. That didn’t mean one was better than the other or more valuable to me than the other. It’s just good parenting. And by the way, it’s good friendship to know that you just can’t talk. You can talk to your every friend you have about the same things from the Bible. But if you’re a good friend, you learn how to say it to them individually and uniquely. Sounds like a lot of work, yeah. But good friendship is worth the work. Can I say it again and I get it really good? Amen. You know it’s true. Good friendship is worth the work. Amen. Amen.

I’ve seen too many friendships fail because they’re pushed beyond where they were meant to be. You know, David, I think it was, Jordan made mention of it again. I think Cindy even touched on it again that you have friends and you have friends that are closer, and you have friends that are closer, right? And sometimes there’s a push that happens for some reason where we want to be, we want to be in that same group that’s ahead of us. We deem that there’s a group of friends that’s ahead of us, closer than I am to so and so. And so they make a push and they end up losing the friendship they had and the one that they were enjoying. I see that happen in two people preparing for marriage. I see them push that marriage to a place of sexual immorality before they’re married. And what they don’t realize when it’s happening, because it feels so good, is that they are opening both of their hearts, they’re opening their hearts to the doubt about their love that is about to come down the line. Well, if he did it with me and we weren’t married, who else is he gonna do it with? If she did it with me before we were married and had a marriage covenant, well, who am I to think? I’m the only one in her life now. We have no idea. And that’s one of the things of one of the characteristics of sin. It’s real short-sighted, and it keeps you from seeing the consequence down the road. Thank God for the help of the Holy Spirit. That’s right. Come on, somebody. Thank God for your friend, the Holy Spirit. Amen.

The easiest example is when we put people above Jesus. We push them in our friendship with them above our friendship with Jesus. Suddenly, first things are not first things. And all the verses in our Bible that teach us about that, we can’t apply. We can’t apply seeking first the kingdom of God because that’s not what we’re seeking first. You know? You got a new job, new salary, that’s first now, making the money. You love it. Wow. It’s so liberating to have so much money, not to have to think about it all the time. But every promise about your prosperity by God’s hand has just been lifted from you. It’s there, but you walked away from it. I’m not condemning you. Again, I’m not trying to make anybody feel guilty, just stating a fact. First is first. And the scripture says if the first fruit be holy, then the lump will be holy. Amen. So we can’t put, we can’t, Cindy and I have, we promised each other before we were married. And I don’t know where the wisdom came from, but I’m just thankful that we had it before we were married when we were 18. And no, I won’t go there. Stay with that. 18. Someone had helped us realize that she can never be more important to me, even as my wife, than Jesus. And I can never be more important to her in her life, her husband than Jesus. This friendship, and we’ve been friends all those years, all these years. This friendship has been built on this one. And we have always worked to keep it that way. Amen. And that’s one of the reasons we’ll be married in April for 53 years, and both of us are still alive.

I think that’s all I want to say about that. Just that boundaries don’t speak, listen to me, boundaries setting boundaries as a friend. I’m going to set boundaries as a good friend. They don’t speak to the value of a person. They speak to the value of the relationship. Setting a boundary doesn’t speak to the value you are as a person, but just to the value of the relationship. This is where it should be. We’re on that level. It’s great. We’re having a good time. It’s growing. But let’s not push it and make it something we shouldn’t make it.

Never in this last tip on this, and then I’ll go to the last point. And Dana can come up and we can close service. Has this helped you at all today? I hope it’s a good ending to the series. But I learned this somewhere along the way that we can never ask another person to be something to us in our life. That we will not let God be to us. I don’t care how wonderful, beautiful, handsome, great they are. They’ll never be God on their best day. It’s not fair to them. You’ll break them. You’ll destroy them by asking them to love you as only God can love you. You can let God love you through them, but you can’t ask them as a substitute to love you the way God loves you because they just they don’t, they’re not God. Simple as that. You know, they’re Christians. Well, Christians should yeah, talk to yourself. Well, they ought to well go have a good conversation in the mirror first. Okay, we’re gonna talk about should have’s and would have’s and all that stuff. You know, let’s leave that be and let’s take a step forward. Amen. We can do that in all of our relationships. Again, love the Lord your God with every passion of your heart. It’s the passion translation.

Love the Lord your God with every passion of your heart with all the energy of your being and with every thought that is within you.

A good friend recognizes the uniqueness of friendships and manages to keep them on track.

Good friends are fiercely loyal

Number four, good friends are fiercely loyal. Good friends are fiercely loyal. Someone said a real friend walks, walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Friends don’t abandon each other when things get messy or inconvenient. When they are reunited after a long absence, it’s as if you’ve never been apart. Do you ever notice that? You know why that is? Because your hearts are knit together. And even though you’re not in the same physical location all the time, your hearts are knit together. You love each other at a distance and you love each other close up. Listen to this great, great word here. Friendship isn’t seasonal or situational. Friendship isn’t seasonal or situational. Wow. Good friends defend one another from both external forces and the internal forces.

For example, Cindy talked a great word on offenses. Talked about being sore after the service. Wow. Toes everywhere on how we need to deal with offenses. She talked a lot about forgiveness. And just as an example, as we close, good friends work. When something goes wrong, they work quicker than others toward forgiveness. They take a quicker step, they recognize it sooner. You know, if I’m really close to somebody, something bad has happened. My step is quicker toward that person to get this forgiveness working here. It’s got to work in every friendship, every level of friendship, right? Because Jesus forgave us. We don’t have, it’s not you know, this is not optional for us, right? I must forgive. I’ve been forgiven. I can’t do it, you’re right, you can’t. God will help you do it. He did it on the cross. He’ll do it in you toward your friend concerning what’s happened. But good friends just tend to take a step.

I’m not going to spend a lot of time with with unforgiveness. It is a poison. On every level, it is a poison. I don’t know who it was who said it, but it’s so cool. The illustration is so good. You know, unforgiveness is like giving someone poison, expecting, I mean, you drink the poison expecting somebody else to die. Right? It’s poison. Don’t keep score. A good friend doesn’t do that. They get it that everyone falls at one time or another. Are you listening to me as we close? Forgiving one another is just not an issue. Look, watch this: of feeling better about the other person or what was done. It’s not about feeling better over what was done. Watch this. It’s a matter of getting the poison out and getting the healing in. Wow. Not about just, you know, arguing with one another back and forth, trying to find who is at fault. The poison is at work. All the while that’s going on. There’ll be a time to talk later about it. But let’s get rid of the poison. Get the healing working. And then our words will be better. Amen. Get it out of the heart, because out of the abundance of the heart, what happens? The mouth speaks. So let’s get hold of the poison, get it out, get washed from it, and let’s start forming our words from that spot. Amen.

And this I got from Cindy’s message last week on that on that issue. When we hold on to unforgiveness, we are missing the opportunity to reveal Christ in our friendship. I’ll say it to you again. I want you to think about this one. I mean, if you’ve got a a friend who’s not a believer, again, their need, their greatest need is to know Jesus, the great friend, right? And you can’t be that substitute for them, but you can be a messenger, you can be God’s representation, right? God delivered you, look what he did. We’ve all got a story, right? But but even with a Christian or an unchristian, somebody who’s a non-Christian, when I have an opportunity to forgive them and don’t, I am withholding the glory of Jesus Christ from them. The great forgiver. They need to know him as the forgiver. Well, they get to know him when we love one another. They get to know him better when we’re kind to one another. They get to know him better when we are hospitable, when they see us worshiping. They get to know him. We’re bring his glory to the forefront, right? So when we forgive, we’re stepping out of the way and letting Jesus come into that thing. And again, reveal who he is.

Proverbs 17, 17 says this.

A dear friend will love you no matter what. And a family sticks together through all kinds of trouble.

Here’s my last point summed up. Good friends are present. Good friends are generous, they’re trustworthy, encouraging, and sticky. Say a good friend is sticky. Where’s that in the Bible? Here it is. Proverbs 17, 17.

A dear friend will love you no matter what, and a family sticks together through all kinds of trouble.

Proverbs 18, 24 says

some friendships don’t last for long, but there is one loving friend who is joined to your heart closer than any other.

The King James Bible says that there’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Amen. And amen. God make us good friends. Amen. Make us to be friends like you’re a friend to us.

Jonathan strengthened his hand in God

Let’s stand to our feet. Close with this story, and then we’re just going to pray and be dismissed. Most of you are familiar with the close covenant relationship that Jonathan had with David. They were very, very close. And Jonathan was the rightful heir to the throne. But he so loved David and the friendship they had that when he saw that this whole thing with his dad and the situation, Saul in pursuit of David to kill him. He made a commitment, a covenant commitment. He expressed covenant love. Everybody say covenant love. He expressed covenant love to his friend David. Here’s what the Bible says about that. It says that Jonathan strengthened his hand in God. Jonathan strengthened his hand in God, referring to what he did for David. You know, like if you if you’ve ever played cards, whatever, whatever kind of card game you play, sometimes your hand to play is weaker than the other. And if that holds true, they’ll win and you’ll lose. David’s hand, so to speak, at that point, the way it appeared, was not very good compared to King Saul’s and the armies that followed him. But he had a friend. Say it, I have a friend. I have a friend. He had a friend who chose. He could have chosen to let it play out or to end it himself. To become king again because he was the rightful heir. But instead of choosing to become king, even though it would mean that Jonathan would sit on that throne himself as rightful heir, as a good friend, he chose to strengthen David’s calling. To strengthen David’s future, to strengthen David’s destiny.

I almost weep when I talk. Just think about that. I want to be the kind of friend who sees in you the future that God has for you. I’m settled in mind. There’s more to come. I’m not done yet. Right. But what is God doing in you, my friend? If I need to sacrifice something, let it be to myself, concerning myself, so that somebody else might experience something bigger and greater. I want my kids to go places I’ve never gone. He’s one of our police officers. Every day, he has to make the decision to go lay his life on the line so that others can go on living theirs with a sense of safety. Somebody gonna be there. Amen. Well, God does that every day for us. He’s desired friendship for us from the very beginning. And you could talk about salvation in a diff a hundred different theological ways. But bottom line, what happened in the Garden of Eden all those years ago was a friendship gone bad. Because God held out to Adam and Eve not just his love but his trust. And they made the mistake, but it was an all eyes open decision for Adam. He knew it was He knew what he was doing. And he committed high treason against God and he broke the trust that God had shown him. And so you know the story. Sin and death entered in to them and then to all the world, and progressively it began to cover the earth. Until Jesus came and he made a way for us to be again the friend of God and God to be the friend of mankind. How many of you are grateful for that? I said, how many of you are grateful for that?

So let’s bow our heads and just pray. Father, we thank you for the message of the whole month. We believe it’s been given to us as good seed. And that now we need to partner with the Holy Spirit. Surrendering, trusting, letting that seed get deep into our heart and put down root. And then it’ll begin to rise. It’ll break the surface, begin to show up in the way we live our lives. How we treat one another. How husbands treat their wives, how wives treat their friends, how partners at work treat one another, how we are in church with one another. Father, we thank you that your word will rise up, begin to bear fruit. And what we’re believing you for is not just 30-fold, that’s wonderful. Not just 60-fold, that’s double that. But we are believing you for 100fold or maximum yield. Why? God, we want you to be glorified in our relationships in how we do life. We want you to be seen in it. We want you to be honored in it. We want people to come to Christ through it. And we thank you for the work of the Holy Spirit that has begun in us concerning our relationships this month. And we believe for a great finish. In Jesus’ name we pray. Everybody said, Amen. And amen. Praise God. Thank you, God.